STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
