how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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