He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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