But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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