she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
