i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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