Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
