oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i came on her dog
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
