What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
