I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
