He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
we're making bets on your personal life
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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