Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
