I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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