You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
