Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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