i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
