My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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