She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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