Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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