whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
