I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
