But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
