just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
