She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
He did a backflip because drugs
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