What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
After tacos, we're chasing women.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
