Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
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