we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
