Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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