yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
there is glitter all over my balls
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
