Porn is love you can see.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
