just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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