I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
