they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
