I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
