it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
