direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
So here I am, sexting at work.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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