these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
