paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
this boner is exhausting
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize