fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
