these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
