you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
