have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
only you would photoshop your dick
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
