I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
