didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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