I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
