OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
