I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
