He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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