hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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