It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
